Sunday, June 13, 2010

OH SUNGGUH BENAR.

Copy paste ok. Kredit to Amazing Nara

Dear Tech Support,

Last year, I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overall system performance, particularly in the flower and jewelry applications, which operated flawlessly under Boyfriend 5.0.
In addition, Husband 1.0 uninstalled many other valuable programs, such as
Romance 9.5 and Personal Attention 6.5, and then installed undesirable programs such as
NBA 5.0,
NFL 3.0 and
Golf Clubs 4.1.
Conversation 8.0 no longer runs, and HouseCleaning 2.6 simply crashes the system.
Please note that I have tried running Nagging 5.3 to fix these problems, but to no avail.
What can I do?
Signed,
Desperate.

Baca artikel ini sepenuhnya untuk tahu apa jawapannya

DEAR DESPERATE,
First, keep in mind,
Boyfriend 5.0 is an Entertainment Package, while Husband 1.0 is an operating system.
Please enter command: ithoughtyoulovedme.HTML, try to download Tears 6.2, and do not forget to install the Guilt 3.0 update.
If those applications work as designed, Husband 1.0 should then automatically run the applications Jewelry 2.0 and Flowers 3.5.
However, remember, overuse of the above application can cause Husband 1.0 to default to Grumpy Silence 2.5, Happy Hour 7.0, or Beer 6.1.
Please note that Beer 6.1 is a very bad program that will download the Snoring Loudly Beta.
Whatever you do, DO NOT under any circumstances install Mother-In-Law 1.0 (it runs a virus in the background that will eventually seize control of all your system resources.)
In addition, please do not attempt to reinstall the Boyfriend 5.0 program. This is an unsupported application and will crash Husband 1.0.
In summary, Husband 1.0 is a great program, but it does have limited memory and cannot learn new applications quickly. You might consider buying additional software to improve memory and performance. We recommend Cooking 3.0 and Hot Lingerie 7.7.

Good Luck!

Tech Support


Renung2kan dan selamat beramal!(ujar MB dengan wajah manja)

GERSANG

Sekali sekala buat post dengan tajuk berunsur keji.

Sepasang suami isteri lingkungan pertengahan 50-an sedang melayari internet.

Selepas bosan menjadi stalker di facebook, mereka mengambil keputusan bermain youtube.

Puan DJ: "Bob pasangla lagu mase kita bercinta dulu2..."

Encik MA: " Ok2 I pasang lagu Penantian dari kumpulan Harmoni ye sayang.."

Taste mereka lebih terarah kepada benda2 old school. Geng2 tengok berita RTM.

Maka Encik MA pun menaip Penantian di laman youtube maka terpampanglah video klip lagu tersebut.

Mereka bersorak gembira kerana berjaya mencari lagu tersebut dengan mudah.

Setelah menutup tingkap dan pintu rumah, mereka pun head banging dan shuffle dengan riang ria.

Terutamanya Puan DJ yg menunjukkan bakat shuffle yang terpendam.

Setelah puas head banging dan shuffle, Puan DJ request lagu kedua pula.

Maka beliau merequest lagu Masih Aku Terasa dari kumpulan Gersang.

Encik MA yang sudah expert melayari internet pun menaip Gersang di youtube.

Hasilnya?









Maka malam itu mereka berehat dari internet dan solat berjemaah di masjid.




BIBIK LAGI

MB suka bibik seperti ini.

Bila MB mahu cuci pinggan dia berkata:

"Ngak apa buk...biar saya aja yang basuh pinggannya...buk cuci tangan aja ya.."

Bila MB pegang batang penyapu dia berkata:

"Ngak usah disapu lantainya buk...biar saya aja yang buat..."

Bila MB angkat bakul baju kotor dia berkata:

"Ngak apa buk..biar aja biar saya yang cuci..."

Tapi MB x suka bila.

Suami mintak tolong picit belakang:

"Ngak apa buk biar saya aja yang picit..."

Thursday, June 10, 2010

BELON

Sikap rakyat Malaysia golongan kelas pertengahan makan gaji bila naik kapal terbang.

1. Kalau naik Malaysia Airlines, jadi orang pertama naik kapal terbang, lepastu amik semua newspaper dekat pintu masuk tanpa mengira bahasa (didasarkan semangat 1Malaysia). Rugi tak amik sebab benda free. Kalau tak baca pun sekurang2nya boleh buat bungkus belacan atau bungkus ole2 pasu Sarawak atau terubuk masin ntuk org kampung.

2. Tengok pramugari buat demo keselamatan dengan bersungguh2. Lagi2 kalau pramugari cutting ala-ala Rozita Che Wan. Tapi kalau tanya balik apa pramugari cakap x tau pulak.

3. Kalau naik MAS:
Pramugari: Would you like fish n salad or nasi lemak with chicken rendang?
Penumpang: Can I have both please?

Kalau aik Air Asia:
Pramugari: Would you like to buy food or beverages sir?
Penumpang: ~~~~(buat2 tido). Sanggup menahan dahaga sebab taknak beli coke RM3 setin.

4. Sedaya upaya nak duduk tepi tingkap, bajet2 boleh nampak bumbung rumah dia.

5. Sentiasa mahu jadi orang pertama masuk n orang pertama keluar. Macamla kena berdiri sebab takde seat kalau masuk lambat.

6. Bukak henpon sebaik sahaja tayar kapal terbang mencecah buli. Mentaliti: kalau bukak atas darat takpe, kalau nak crash pun dah atas darat.

7. Saiz beg tangan bertambah 2x ganda lepas turun kapal terbang especially kalau naik MAS. Isi kandungan tambahan: sudu garfu, makanan tak habis, majalah in-flight free, sikat n sewing kit MAS, gula2 free, tisu, beg muntah...

8. Gelabah bila nampak beg masa nak claim baggage. Sanggup berlari rempuh orang bila nampak beg dah lalu depan dia. Macamla beg tu lalu sekali je.